And with that....I'm bored again

So my excitement lasted what, one whole episode? Whoopie. That was a fun ride while it lasted. Next stop, asseytown with only a brief stop (or two) in talentville.

Ahh the 1960's. The era that brought us civil unrest, a drug riddled sub-culture and a escalating foreign policy nightmare about to culminate in the Vietnam War. Oh yes and mop topped, buck teethed, one hit wonders from across the pond. Oh and the Beatles. What fun to be had by all tonight.

Someone told me that Haley sang something. Hmmm, all I saw were bouncy boobies and legs for days. So much for that Jesus Loves Me image. This will for sure keep her in for another week. Oh yippee.

People loooooovvvveeee Chris R. I only have one question - WHY? Seriously, someone post a comment that convinces me why this fuzzy headed, been there done that, ripoff is the next great thing 'cause I am at a loss. What is this ethereal, one octave bullshit he keeps subjecting us to week after week? Have I time warped into some twilight zone parallel universe? Even Simon has abandoned me. Oh woe is me.

Stephanie has lost her mojo. In fact I didn't look at my television once while typing this recap so I almost didn't realize that the commercial for greeting cards had stopped. She might want to go check Jordin sparks dressing room for it, cause I am afraid that nice girl thing might all be an act. But she's a big one so she might want to bring Sanjaya with her to distract Jordin with his luscious locks.

I didn't hate Blake. But he's just the male equivalent of Britney Spears (before she went batshit crazy) - all production, styling, hair/make-up over actual vocal talent. And was it me, or was his set like 10 mins longer than everyone else's? Is it that the producers don't consider his beatboxing singing either and therefore allow him more time? Who can blame them - with all the negative press over Sanjaya lately they need someone to counter pimp.

Lakesha is BLINGED out. Only on American Idol can a woman go from a single mom working at a bank one week to performing live in front of a billion people wearing a million dollars worth of diamonds (unless of course she stole those diamonds and the live performance is her "you won't take me alive coppers" stand off on the evening news, but I digress). GOD BLESS AMERICA! Ok, putting my flag back in the Chevy next to the gun rack. Unforatunately, it wasn't that great dawg. However, Lakesha is still the poo, so take a big whiff.

Phil is looking more and more like an emaciated Billy Corgan and I loathe the Smashing Pumpkins. So if you follow simple logic (A=B, B=C, A=C) I loathe Phil and his screeching.

Jordin is snickering inside that sweet demeanor for the reasons I stated above. Welcome to the bigtime girlfriend, you now have something.

Starvation for Sanjaya is the best thing to come as a result of his entire existence on this show as far as I'm concerned. What did he sing you ask? Does it really matter? Fine here, witness the horror for yourself. He even brings children to tears. (Yeah, yeah I know she was actually happy, but my theory makes my point so much better don't you think).

Gina is the resident rocker huh? Wow, this show has really peaked hasn't it. "Knock, knock. Who's there? Land Shark....Jump On."

Chris S has become a mockery of himself. I think he accidentally took my Justin Guarini comparisons to heart. Oops, my bad.

Melinda has bad hair. It does her (ahem) unique frame no justice. Good thing she brings it like its never been brought. And why on earth is that girl still crying? Did someone just steal her dollie? If so, please give it back - you are distracting me from Melinda and being that she is the only highlight of this wretched show, I think I have earned at least some semblance of happiness.

Seriously who is this whimpering twit and why the hell did Queen Bee drag her on the stage like that? Are broken tear ducts considered a terminal illness and this is some kind of make a wish moment? Poor thing, even in the face of impending death there is no accounting for taste.

Bottom 3
Sanjaya (yeah right, like he's going home)
Chris R (ditto)
Phil (sorry Qtip, guess that leaves you)