YEE HAW!!!

Last stop, Tex-ass. THANK GOD! We made it America, it's almost over. Well, the torture of the auditions are anyways. But we cannot end this portion of the show without a couple choice stereotypes to hold us through until next year:

• The mouthy overweight black woman in spandex with a fierce attitude and an even fiercer camel toe;
• The token blond country girl who swears she is not a country girl but the accent, the animals and the sugary sweet naivete SCREAM otherwise;
• Over zealous black family acting like they just won the tri-state lottery when one of their kin folk made it through to the next round. OH HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU JESUS!
• After we were intentionally mislead into thinking that she could possibly sing, one of the emotional nutcases who has graced my screen for weeks on end, bursts into tears after being verbally assaulted (in the best way possible) by Simon Cowell leading me to ask whether or not the Mayor of Houston is deaf?
• Exploitation of the freaky inbreed mildly retarded kid you know didn't actually audition of his own merit (Damn you so called "talent scouts". Satan's mingnons that what you are.)

Top 4
Halle "You Ain't Nuttin but a Hoochie Mama" Scornato
Baley "Move Over Britney" Brown
Ashlyn "Second Chances" Carr (for the record, I liked her)
Jimmy "Ruben Who?" McNeal

Next stop...HOLLYWEIRD

EDITORIAL NOTE - Did anyone else notice that during the "other door" montage that the charming but delusional girl who hummed and electric slid her way through Prince's "Kiss" seemed to run full speed up to the "other door" holding the coveted yellow ticket!? I thought the booted her tie wearing ass. I smell contestant tampering...and it smells DELICIOUS!!!