Some say that the Seattle music scene died that fateful day in April when Kurt Cobain took his own life. Personally, I didn't get it. Anyone who would willingly choose the better or worse route with Courtney Love ain't all that. That aside, no one could have imagined what horrors good old Seattle had in store for us today. Eeee gads.
What occured to me rather quickly is the astonishing realization that all that rain in The Emerald City makes you ugly. I don't mean "oh poor thing, if she only had her hair did and bought some clothes that fit" ugly. I mean "smacked by an ugly stick, kept chained under the stairs, bush baby, U-G-L-Y you ain't got not alibi" ugly. Seriously. This being the sad reality that it is, I make a humble plea to all of Seattle - STOP BREEDING IMMEDIATELY! Put away those parenting books and pick up a case of condoms, spermicidal jelly or birth control pills - better yet, pick up all three!
I'm really starting to understand the suicide rate up there. Say it with me, "Eeee gads!"
Top 4
Tommy "Rockin the Fro" Daniels
Blake "The Human Beat Box or The Entertainer" Lewis
Rudy "Dimples and a Soul Patch Make Me Happy" Cardenas
Jordin "I Ate Lisa Tucker" Sparks
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2 comments:
I think you forgot to say that the people of Seattle have fallen off the ugly tree...and hit every branch on the way down.
Good one...
What about - you so ugly, that when you were born the doctor slapped your mom and dad.
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